


One Hell of a Night

by Stayalivee_2



Category: Depeche Mode
Genre: 1990s, Closeted, Clubbing, Comfort, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possessive Behavior, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:40:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stayalivee_2/pseuds/Stayalivee_2
Summary: The World Violation Tour is famous for its Rock'n'Roll clichés and scandals. You know, most of them are true...
Relationships: Dave Gahan/Alan Wilder
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	One Hell of a Night

**1990**

_~ I'm waiting for the night to fall, when everything is bearable. And there in the still, all that you feel is tranquillity. ~_

When they exit the stadium after concluding the second sold out night, they're faced with an overpowering amount of fans, all yelling their name in unison, almost like some sort of chant. Dave tries to stay as close to Alan as possible as they get escorted towards their limousine, because that's where he feels safest. He knows Alan won't let anything happen to him, even if he might have to completely cling to him in the process.

Neither of them ever seem to mind it, so it has become a regular occurrence. Now, whenever Dave scoots a lot closer, or even reaches out for Alan just to make sure, Alan knows something's off. These approaches are not to be confused with Dave's usual attachment to Alan though. For outsiders, it's hard to tell the difference, if Dave is just being clingy, or if he needs Alan's comfort.

After spending 8 years close together, working together, living together, sharing your deepest secrets and your darkest fears with only one person, you get to know them. Very well. Dave only has to shoot Alan with a short, well calculated glance for him to know what's up. He could never be this close to any of the others. Sometimes Dave calls Alan his soulmate, and then Alan calls him a lunatic, but that's exactly what pulls Dave in. His deadpan honesty.

When they finally reach the other side of the city after a good hour has passed, they're unleashed from the confines of their limousine and start walking down the pedestrian street towards the night club closest to their hotel.

After they pass some prostitutes on the side of the street, one slinky blonde girl decides to follow them and calls after Alan. "Hey there, handsome. You look like you could use a little relaxation, huh?"

"No thank you, I like being stressed." Alan replies in an intimidating voice, catching the girl off guard, who backs off immediately and walks away.  
Dave examines him incredulously, not being used to Alan using that voice too often.

"What's gotten into you?" he asks with a grin on his face, stressing the "you".

"These hookers will give you all kinds of diseases.." Alan replies, a smirk appearing on his own face, too.  
Dave laughs at that, in his usual charming manner, grabbing Alan's arm while doing so.

When they finally reach the entrance of the club Martin suggested, Alan starts feeling uneasy at the staggering amount of people waiting in front or in a queue, reminding him of the signing event at a record store not far from here, from when they had just released Violator, that got out of hand and had to be shut down, but their status thankfully grants them special access and Alan lets out a relieved sigh.

After they entered the club with protests from the other people forced to wait outside, Alan, Martin and Fletch scout for an empty booth, while Dave tosses his jacket at Alan and immediately bounces towards the dance floor. Alan just scoffs at that, carefully wrapping the jacket up a bit while the others shoo away some randos from a mostly empty booth to make it theirs.

Dave is so predictable. As soon as a mediocrely good song hits the stereos, this man is up on his legs. And reliable like a clockwork, immediately after Dave starts with his intriguing and suggestive dance moves, people start looking and men start swarming him like a pack of wolves. In Alan's eyes, to be fair. Dave sees it differently. He's too naive, but he craves the attention he gets when he's bold and daring. His, for a bloke unusual, outfit additionally manages to draw attention. Tight, black leather trousers with a black, cropped top, a combination that barely leaves anything to the imagination. And Alan finds himself staring, while he orders drinks for the boys at the bar.

"Yeahhh, he looks like a nice piece of cake, doesn't he?", a random guy with a mustache next to him at the bar suddenly says, catching him off guard. The guy sips at his almost empty cocktail, the straw bubbling comically loud, the tiny umbrella soaked with liquid.

Alan notices the guy wearing quite unusual clothes, too, which distinctly show off his muscled body, and he dead certainly tries not to look him up and down.

Right. This is a gay nightclub.

"I know right? And he's all mine tonight." Alan states, hiding his grin by sipping at the beer he just got. The look on the guy's face should be photographed and framed.

"You?? No way." he laughs incredulously, not believing what he just heard.

Alright, Alan thinks as he calls out for Dave on the dance floor, and despite the blasting music, Dave would drop about anything after Alan calls out for him. He immediately comes walking over towards the bar, that sultry sway on his hips, and Alan can't help but look. He's sweaty and panting when he reaches them and leans against Alan, who immediately smells his scent, not specifically cologne, but just his own bodily scent, smelling of sandalwood and musk, which is slowly driving him crazy.

"Oh is that mine?" Dave asks hastily, grabbing the bottle of beer from Alan's hand and taking a thirsty swig. Alan just smirks in the other guy's direction, who has seemingly lost his confidence. He then wraps one arm around Dave's waist and pulls him closer, making Dave watch him with a look of astonishment.

"This bloke here wouldn't believe me when I said you were all mine tonight." Alan tells him, his sharp pronunciation and intense stare almost intoxicating.

Dave has to pull himself together after that and tears his gaze away from Alan to look at the other guy. "Well then he clearly doesn't know how good you are in bed." Dave then says with a smug smile spreading on his face while the other guy chokes on his nearly empty cocktail.

"No joke! I can't walk normally for three days after he's done with me." he continues with a deadpan expression, rubbing his behind in fake pain, but shortly after interrupts himself. "Oh I love that song-", he exclaims and walks off, shoving the half-empty beer bottle back into Alan's hand.

Alan just shrugs, a smug smirk on his own face as well, and deliberately drinks at the bottle Dave has just drunk from. The guy is now straight up gaping at Alan as he pays the bartender and walks back to their booth, carefully carrying four drinks towards the table.  
  


_~ Now you're standing there tongue-tied, you'd better learn your lesson well. ~_  
  


While they all clink glasses and chat about irrelevant topics, Alan can't help but find himself desperately looking towards Dave every ten seconds. By now the dance floor has filled considerably, and it's hard to keep track of him in the crowd. He can't help his overprotectiveness. Too much bad stuff has happened to them already.

When the crowd finally clears after a more gloomy song comes on, Alan notices a man talking to Dave, reaching out to touch his shoulders and standing way too close for Alan's comfort. Dave, as always, doesn't seem to mind the extra treatment and submits to the sudden invasion of his personal space.

By now, Alan can feel himself piping with jealousy, and he has to be bumped by Martin, who challenges him to drink some shots, to look away from Dave. Alan, who sees this challenge as an easy win, accepts it confidently, and downs four shots of some weird red liquor without batting an eye, while Martin makes a face at the alcohol sliding down his throat.

"How do you always do that?? I don't get it-" he states while cringing and sipping at his beer to compensate the burn. Alan just smiles through it and looks back towards the dancefloor, but now Dave is nowhere to be seen.

Before he can start panicking though, a familiar hand grabs his shoulder, the sweet smile and the special scent hitting his nose, instantly calming his increasing anxiety.

"Had some fun, boys?" Dave asks while sitting down next to Alan.

"No." Martin states, Fletch handing him his second glass of water.

"Definitely." Alan then replies smugly, a smirk on his lips when facing Dave.

Dave bumps him with his own shoulder and goes on to tease him, "Oh Mart, you know you can't challenge Charlie when it comes to booze.", stressing the infamous nickname Alan then cringes at, and Dave smugly sips at his beer while Alan directs a warning gaze towards him.

Then suddenly, the guy from the dancefloor comes to their booth, looks at Dave and talks to him in a suggestive voice, "Found you again, sweetheart, may I abduct you from your little friends?", while sliding his hand down Dave's back.

Alan only spares him a glare that could easily kill, while Martin and Fletch simultaneously choke on their drinks.

As the poor guy notices Alan's glare, he apologetically removes his hand from Dave in an instant and makes a move to leave.  
"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't think you had a boyfriend."

Dave looks after the bloke, turns around to Alan, visibly mad, and confronts him: "Why do you always scare off my possible hookups??", the question making Alan flush a deep red.

"Since when do you hook up with blokes??" Fletch asks incredulously, causing Martin to facepalm himself.

"Since when do we know each other Andy? Shouldn't you have noticed by now?" Dave counters annoyedly. "Also, screw you! That bloke could've gotten me a decent shag!", he then tells Alan as he quickly stands up to follow the guy.

After a few beats of awkward silence in the booth, Martin and Fletch both stare at Alan.

"..What are you looking at, eh??" Alan says irritably, downing his beer and standing up in the process to follow Dave. He's seen this situation enough times already and he can't hide his possessiveness anymore.  
  


_~ I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much... ~_  
  


"And he's really not your boyfriend?" the bloke asks Dave cautiously after finding a nice empty corner in the club.  
"We're in...it's not...-" Dave stutters, trying to explain the situation but failing.

As Alan walks up to the corner where he sees Dave's bright and sweaty skin glistening in the dark, the bloke notices him coming closer and quickly lets go of Dave's arm "Uhh-"

"You should leave." Alan snarls at the guy in a dark and aggressive voice Dave has not experienced before, catching him off-guard. So much he barely notices the guy running off.

When he finally regains his composure he starts complaining about a so-called "lost opportunity", and that the bloke seemed to be a really nice guy, but Alan isn't really focusing. What catches his attention though, is Dave's proposal of leaving the club. Alone.

"Oh, you're for the high jump if you leave right now."

"Oh yeah? that so?" Dave counters in a feisty voice.

"Don't try me, David." Alan threatens, a low growl escaping his throat and his intimidating gaze pinning Dave against the wall, who then looks to the ground, almost defeated. After a few beats of silence, he says "..you owe me one hell of a night, mate...", in a quiet voice.

Alan then presses himself closer to Dave, both hands beside his head, and leans towards his ear, slowly whispering, "I owe you nothing."

He can feel Dave's throat bobbing, his mouth open, standing there vulnerable like a doe in the headlights. Oh, how much he wants to kiss his neck and take him whole right then and there...  
But he gathers up what's left of his self-restraint and seperates himself from Dave again. They can't be seen in public like this. Dave can't know how he really feels for him. Just this time he couldn't let another bloke get Dave when he can't. This time, his jealousy won, and he's not going to lose Dave to another man, not on his watch.

"You should thank me." he exclaims quietly.

Usually, Alan blames his jealousy on protectiveness over his naive and credulous best mate, because after his random encounters with weirdos he meets at after parties, he's usually left in pieces. Vulnerable and sensitive. Dave once told him what one bloke, who drugged him at a club, did to him. It left him crying in Alan's embrace and he wanted to kill that man with his bare hands, right then and there. Brutally. To make him pay for what he did to Dave.

Sometimes he wonders just how much crap Dave can bottle up without anyone noticing. Just like nobody seems to notice how the frequency of him taking all sorts of drugs increases, because of incidents like that, additional to the heavy responsibilities that come with being a touring world star.

Dave looks at him with that sparkle in his eyes and the alcohol slightly dazing Alan's senses makes it even harder for him to resist dragging Dave into the next empty corner.  
Before he gives in to his wants though, he gets himself together and instructs Dave to follow him back to the booth.

When they reach their destination, they discover a passed out Fletch and a bored Martin beside him, hovering over the table with plenty of empty shot glasses in front.  
Alan pokes Martin's shoulder while Dave sits down in the booth on the opposite side of the table to inspect Fletch from afar.

"You alive, mate?" Alan asks as he startles Martin into consciousness, who answers in a drunk voice and points at Dave.

"Eyyyyy you found 'im, Charlie!"

"Stop calling me that!" Alan counters in a pissed off way, sitting down next to Dave.

Dave scoots closer to him and whispers into his ear, which immediately sends chills down Alan's spine, making him squirm in his seat.  
"What's the matter, Charlie? You're so feisty tonight."

As Alan tries to respond, he feels Dave clenching his collar, his nose still buried in his neck, and looks at him.

"Fuck...you always smell this good?" Dave says breathily while he backs away from his neck again, and Alan is barely able to swallow the lump that has built in his throat. He manages to look into his wide blown eyes and Dave stares back, like two wild animals preparing for a fight.

Their little intimate moment only gets interrupted by Martin clearing his throat and proposing they'd have a last drink and then get back to the hotel, to which they both happily comply.  
  


_~ Things you'd expect to be having effect on me pass undetectedly. But everyone knows what has got me. ~_  
  


After exiting the club, Martin supports Fletch after they were able to somewhat wake him up, and Dave walks very close to Alan, as usual. Dave, being used to getting catcalls of all kind, just chuckles his way through the mass of people outside the club, clinging onto Alan's arm so he doesn't lose him.

When they walk down the pavement in direction of their hotel, a man calls out to Dave and starts following them. After a few metres, Alan has had enough of their tail and turns around to look at the man.

"Fuck off, will you?!" he yells at him angrily, causing Dave to tug at his sleeve.

"Easy...just play along..." He tells Alan quietly. "I'm deeply sorry mate, but I'm all his." Dave says overdramatically and starts giggling, "Ain't that right, baby?" he asks while obscenely slapping Alan's behind, making sure it creates a noise and causing Alan to flinch.

The dude visibly cringes and backs off, followed by a bubbling laughter ensuing between Dave and Alan, though Dave's little chuckle gets silenced when another bloke calls out for him from an alleyway.

"You're quite popular, eh?" Alan laughs, his arm snaking around Dave's waist.

But when Dave looks towards where the voice came from to see who's calling for him, his throat closes up at the sight. He tightly holds onto Alan's arm in hope of support, because the random guy happens to look just like someone else.

_~ I don't understand what destiny's planned. I'm starting to grasp what is in my own hands... ~_  
  
  


**_1989_ **

_It's late. Too late for Dave's liking and he's walking down a hotel hallway with a complete stranger._

_What time is it again?_

_The stranger opens his door and pulls Dave inside._

_Oh. So that's why he's here? That bloke is not usually his type..._

_He flops on the bed and kicks off his shoes, immediately closing his eyes, and the bloke helps him get out of his uncomfortable clothes._

_Time seems to flow like something irrelevant. Dave doesn't understand how that guy could undress him so fast._

_He was just offering to take him home, because suddenly Dave didn't feel so well at the club, and he gladly accepted the offer._

_His head hurts now, and his vision is slightly blurry._

_He doesn't remember taking anything, maybe he forgot._

_What he does remember though, is that he didn't really agree on having sex with this dude, but he's undressing himself as well now._

_"Woah there mate, what're you doin'?" Dave mutters deep in his accent as the man climbs on top of him, pinning him down._

_Well, guess this is how he's gonna spend the rest of his night._

_As the bloke starts stroking himself, he pulls out a pocket knife and directs a dirty smirk at Dave, who laughs._

_"Whaddaya laughing at, huh?" he says angrily._

_"I'll have any kind of sex, but not with a knife..."_

_Dave continues laughing, though his lightheartedness shortly afterwards gets cut off by the man slapping his face, hard, and grabbing his throat tightly, causing Dave to gasp for air._  
_He tells him to behave, or else he will not be so lucky._

_Soon Dave realizes that he is in imminent danger, and that he needs to get out of there. Fast._

_He struggles against the forceful grip on his windpipe and starts scratching the man. This only serves for him to carve a line into Dave's thigh with the knife, making him scream breathlessly. He tries to direct kicks towards the man's groin and catches him off-guard for a second, the tight grip loosening a bit. Taking his only chance, Dave forcefully stabs the man's eyes with his fingers and he flies off, howling, grabbing his own face in pain._

_Dave quickly stands up to find his clothes, his disorientation being his enemy right now. As he hastily dresses himself, the man yells at him. "You fucking bitch! You're gonna fucking die!"_

_Taking advantage of the other man's current blindness, Dave places a hard punch on his jaw and hurries out of the hotel room, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, his drugged state of mind blasting with adrenaline. When he exits the hotel, he wraps his arms around himself. It's freezing. He immediately scans the street for the next taxi, and quickly gets in the closest one._

_"Get me the hell out of here..." He tells the driver breathlessly._

_An old man with a black mustache turns around in the driver's seat and speaks: "What's the matter, fella? Trouble in paradise?"_

_"Just DRIVE, please!" Dave demands more vigorously this time. He just needs to get away from here as fast as possible._

_"Alright, alright, where to?" the man asks while he starts driving._  
  
  


_~The things you do aren't good for my health. The moves you make, you make for yourself. ~_  
  
  


_When Dave arrives at the hotel they stayed at for some promotion event for their new album, he hastily gets up to his floor._  
_With the effects of the drugs and the adrenaline waning, he is left feeling vulnerable and agonized, the thought of what just happened making him sick to the stomach._

_Halfway through the hallway, he stops. A dim light is coming through from under the door to another room. Alan's room._

_If he won't tell anybody about it now, he likely never will, and he cannot keep this bottled up. The only one he could tell is Alan. So he pulls himself together and quietly knocks on the door._

_He never thought he'd be so happy to hear a sleepy "Sod off" from the other side of the door, but he sighs in relief._

_"Alan?" Dave says, not capable of saying more words without immediately starting to cry. He hears a noise inside and then the door unlocking._

_When Alan opens the door, sleepily and grumpy, his face falls when he sees Dave._

_"Dave? What's wrong?" he asks worriedly, and Dave starts sobbing._

_"Oh Dave...come on..."_

_Alan carefully leads him inside and sits him down in an armchair, pulling a blanket over his freezing body. Dave immediately wraps his arms around Alan and presses his head against his chest, his sobbing becoming erratic._

_Alan softly strokes his back and lets him cry against him for a while, before sitting him upright again to take a look at him._

_"Hell, you're bleeding..." he states, a stain of blood visible on Dave's jeans. "I'm gonna have to take them off, okay?" he then asks, waiting for Dave's permission, before wondering why his trousers aren't completely closed._

_While Alan bandages the cut, it slowly dawns on him, and after he's finished he carefully confronts Dave about it._

_"Can you tell me what happened?"_

_~I've heard your vicious words._ _You know by now, it takes a lot to see me hurt.~_  
  


**1990**

"Dave? Everything alright?", Alan asks in a concerned voice after Dave hasn't replied to him in a few minutes, merely clinging to his arm instead. Of course he doesn't complain, but it's very odd for Dave to stay quiet for so long.

"Yeah just...get me home, please..." he answers.

"Of course." Alan then replies, making sure Dave stays close.  
  
  


_~Bring your chains, your lips of tragedy, and fall into my arms.~_  
  
  


After they helped Martin get Fletch to bed and said their goodbyes, Alan walks Dave to his room on the next floor. Dave pats his leather trousers for his keys and opens the door, and after getting inside, he immediately strips off his jacket, stating he's sweating.

He stops rambling after noticing Alan isn't coming in and walks back towards the door, leaning against the frame.

"You're tired, huh?", Dave says compassionately "It's been a hard two days, you deserve some rest, you know?"

"Yeah, probably." Alan states, his expression unreadable.

Dave watches him and waits, almost like he expects Alan to do or say something, making the tension between them palpable. He then slowly begins to close the door, but Alan stops it with one hand and pushes Dave inside with the other. Dave carefully stumbles backwards and Alan follows him and closes the door behind himself.

He presses Dave against the closest wall and starts kissing him, driving a surprised noise out of the man, but he definitely doesn't pull away. He seperates himself from Dave, who looks at him incredulously, making him think this was a terrible mistake.  
"Sorry, I..." Alan starts.

"Don't apologize." Dave interrupts him in a quiet voice, "You do still owe me one hell of a night."

"Let me make it up to you then." Alan states in a low voice before closing the distance between them again.  
He slides one hand behind the small of his back, bringing them closer together, and kisses him gently, caressing his chest while doing so.

Dave, not being used to gentleness in this setting, melts into Alan's careful touch. Somehow he knows exactly where to touch, and how to.

As Alan moves down towards his neck to softly place more kisses there, Dave grabs a handful of his soft hair and speaks up, almost breathless, "...feels so good...how do you know...??", making Alan huff a laugh between kisses.

"This isn't my first ride. Certainly not my second..."

"Lucky bastards..." Dave speaks out, a whine escaping his throat when Alan gently bites the tendons in his neck.

The noises Alan can drive out of Dave just by doing the bare minimum...he wonders how long it's been since he last had a pleasurable sexual encounter.  
It makes him stop kissing his neck and look at Dave's face instead, softly tipping his chin up so he can look into his eyes.

"When was the last time someone made you feel good?"

Dave looks at him and ponders for a second, his long lashes covering his lust blown pupils. "I don't remember."

"Bloody hell..." Alan counters, his insides seizing up at Dave's answer. He runs both hands through his short hair and doesn't want to stop touching him.  
"Look at you...", he starts again with a breathless voice "Why would you keep getting involved with blokes that only care about themselves? You're worth so much more.."

As he keeps running his hands through Dave's hair, Dave grips both his wrists and looks at him, desperately. "Alan.."

"Yes??" he asks apprehensively.

"Make me feel good. Please, Alan.", Dave says while placing Alan's hands back on his chest.

"I will.", Alan replies in a similarly desperate voice, "Fuck, I will."

And that's the only warning Dave gets before Alan picks him up by his thighs and pushes him further against the wall. He immediately wraps his legs and arms around Alan's strong body and starts kissing him again. This time though, Alan takes the lead more vigorously, and Dave happily complies when he probes at his mouth with his tongue.

As their kiss becomes more and more heated, Alan carries Dave towards the bed and gently places him there. Standing in front of him, he starts removing his own jacket and longsleeve, revealing his tight muscled chest and arms, a sight Dave has not had the pleasure to witness in months. It almost has him drooling.

All he wants to do now is touch, and he makes sure Alan knows, by hooking his index fingers in his belt and pulling him in, while kicking off his own shoes.

Alan looks at him expectantly as Dave runs his hands over the deep crevices that disappear into his waistband. He marvels at the sight in front of him and looks into Dave's lust blown, hazel eyes, before bowing down and chasing his lips again. After crawling on top of Dave, who rests his hands on both sides of Alan's neck while their kiss accelerates again, he starts working on undoing Dave's leather trousers, which have become considerably bulged out.

"Looks like you need these off", Alan says between breaths and kisses. A smug smile appears on his lips when he softly grabs Dave's hardening bulge and draws a surprised moan out of him.  
"Yeah, you definitely do."

Before he completely removes his trousers though, he runs his hands along Dave's exposed abdomen, his skin hot to the touch, trembling underneath the gentle caress. He pulls the sweaty crop top off, flinging it somewhere behind himself, and starts kissing Dave's smoothly shaved chest, occasionally caressing his nipples with careful fingertips.

The gentleness of which Alan handles him with is beyond Dave's comprehension and his skin is crawling with every touch and every kiss, his body writhing underneath Alan's dominating frame.

When he finally takes Dave's trousers off completely, he starts kissing and stimulating his nipples, driving a yelp out of Dave.

"Easy there..." Alan calms him with a low, seductive voice, a smile on his lips as he continues distributing kisses all over his chest. He then runs his hands over Dave's various tattoos, from the new, crisp ones, to the old faded ones, to the scar a very early one left after being removed.

Alan soaks in every little detail about Dave's body he hasn't been able to explore before. His bellybutton, the little dips in his hip, the definition of his collarbones, how he bends when he's being loved,...

"Alan?" Dave asks quietly.

"Yes?"

"I want you, please.." The want and desperation heavily clouding his voice, making it even raspier.

"Be patient. Trust me it'll feel ten times better if you take your time." Alan reassures him and Dave accepts it, but not without a little disappointed pout.

As they continue kissing, Dave reaches for Alan's jeans again, the front already stretched taut as well. As he opens them and pulls them down, Alan lets out a relieved groan against Dave's lips. He travels down to his neck again, sucking, kissing, and biting the soft protruding tendons and veins, feeling Dave's pulse accelerating when he pulls off his underwear.

"Holy shit...", Dave exclaims, his face astounded. "You're really big..."

"Well now you're flattering me." Alan smirks against his neck. As he looks down towards where Dave has started stroking his cock, a silent moan escapes his throat at the mere view of Dave's hand on him.

"C'mere..." he then says, pulling Dave in a passionate kiss again.

They move like this for a while before Alan pulls Dave's thigh up and starts stroking him as well, making him whine and squirm underneath his hand as Alan continues sucking at his neck and collarbones.

"Careful...you're gonna create marks...the fans will see..." Dave warns apprehensively.

"You know I've never been good at following commands.", Alan says with a smirk on his lips, his eyes still closed, "Too late now."

"You bastard..." Dave hisses in between hasty breaths. He then pulls at Alan's hair as punishment, but it only serves to make Alan groan against his neck and grab his thigh even harder.

As they start rutting against each other, the world around them seems to fade out. Breaths getting faster, whines turning into moans.

"You're too loud." Alan exclaims at Dave's lust ridden expressions.

"Then shut me up." Dave challenges him, looking deep into his eyes.

Alan smirks at that, lightly putting one hand on Dave's throat, caressing his jugular. "Feisty, huh?"  
He puts two fingers against his lips, demanding him to open his mouth in a sultry voice. "Suck it."

Dave can't help but moan at Alan's sexiness and happily opens his mouth to lick and suck at Alan's fingers, coating them with his saliva, because he knows what's next, and he's excited to see Alan do it. He watches him in anticipation as Alan removes his fingers from his mouth, dripping wet, and continues following his hand with his eyes when he reaches downwards. Dave gasps when the cold and wet sensation of Alan's fingers circling his entrance hit him, but he immediately relaxes to let him in.

"Such a good boy for me...", Alan exclaims with a sultry grin on his face "...all eager to take me in whole later."

Dave bites his lip at that, and before he knows it, he's a whining mess. Clutching at the sheets when Alan curls up his fingers inside of him, brushing his prostate over and over again, the heat in his abdomen threatening to explode way too soon.  
Before it can get to that point though, Alan removes his fingers again, very aware of Dave's internal revelry.

"Now, I don't want you to reach your peak just yet, baby." Alan still revels at the low amount of stimulation it takes to get Dave to this level this fast.

Dave grouches at the loss of the sensation, but it is soon replaced by Alan kissing him again, and he honestly can't complain. Alan is an amazing kisser.

He then continues stroking Alan back to full hardness, but when Alan reaches for the bedside drawer to pull out a condom, Dave suddenly stops him.

"We don't need that.", he tells him, pushing the drawer closed again.

"What? Are you sure about that?" Alan asks apprehensively.

"It's like sucking a candy through a pane of glass. I want the real you. Please, Alan. I never get to feel the real thing. But I know I can, with you." Dave replies, his desperation evident in the cracking of his voice. Dave's heated yearning and his own rock hard erection leave Alan no chance to negotiate.

He slides back towards Dave and tells him to roll over to the side.

"Why?"

"I want to take you in my arms." 

"To forget all you couldn't do today?" Dave references with a smirk, earning a playful slap to his behind from Alan.

"Shut up and turn over before I play the main riff on you."

Dave giggles and obeys, lying on his side before Alan snuggles up to him from behind, kissing the soft hairs at the base of his neck and stroking his abdomen.

"I'll be careful..." he whispers to Dave in an assuring way while lifting his thigh and lining himself up.

"I know you will." Dave then says quietly before he closes his eyes and lets Alan in.

They both simultaneously gasp when Alan's tip slips in, and Alan pulls Dave in a close embrace. He continues to kiss his neck, whispering praising and reassuring words into his ear, while he presses deeper and deeper.

Dave is close to losing his mind at the sensation of skin on skin, nothing there to seperate them. He revels at feeling Alan's warm chest against his back, his hot breath in the nape of his neck and his strong arms around him, ready to catch him if he might fall apart.

Now he's just hoping Alan won't come too soon, because all the encounters he has had before ended in an abrupt way when the guy came right after he did a few thrusts in and out, leaving Dave needy and naked on the bed, blue balls plaguing him, and usually he had to take matters into his own hands.

His concerns vanish into thin air though when Alan bottoms out, filling him whole, both parties breathing nervously. Dave feels incredibly full, fuller than he has ever felt before, being completely stretched out, and he can't even begin to imagine what it might feel like if Alan starts moving.

"You alright? Dave?", Alan asks him, seemingly concerned.

"Y-yes, why?", Dave stutters while dealing with the pain the unusual stretch creates.

"You haven't been saying anything in a while. I'm just trying to make sure you're feeling good."

"I _am_ feeling good....just have to...adjust. You _are_ very big."

"Take all the time you need..."

Alan keeps kissing him to distract him from the discomfort, occasionally but deliberately brushing Dave's nipples with his fingertips.

After a while of Alan not moving at all, Dave realizes it's not gonna get better if he doesn't move, so he begs him to.

"Alan-"

"Yes?"

"Please move. I need it. Please-"

Alan immediately starts pulling out and pushing in again, but slowly, making Dave moan and grip the sheets again. When he doesn't pick up the pace, Dave gets impatient and almost yells at him.

"Charlie, please just fucking move."

He doesn't need to be told twice and grips Dave's thigh a little more firmly, before accelerating his thrusts, sending Dave into oblivion. The subdued moans from before become louder and raspier, he clenches his eyes shut and seemingly doesn't have enough bedsheets to cling to. He curses his lover's name over and over again before Alan covers his mouth with a hand to shut him up. When he keeps going faster and deeper, Dave almost can't contain himself anymore, the loud moans audible through Alan's hand. He writhes and squirms against Alan and grabs his arm, pulling his hand off his mouth, panting loudly.

"Alan...stop." he exclaims quietly.

Alan, seeing a red flag, immediately stops moving and wants to pull out to make sure he's okay, but Dave stops him before he can.

"Alan...", he states breathlessly as he pulls at Alan's thigh to keep him inside, "Alan I want to be able to see you when I come..."

Relieved he hasn't done anything wrong, Alan sighs and then pulls out to climb on top of Dave again, immediately leaning down to kiss his red swollen lips from Dave biting them. He lines himself up again and smirks when he can slip in easily.

"You're so good for me..." he whispers in his ear while steadily pushing in, making Dave whine and gasp. He kisses him again while he accelerates his rhythm and Dave flings his arms around his chest to clutch at his back, scratching him when Alan occasionally brushes his prostate.

Alan's thundering rhythm reminds Dave of him playing the drums back when they recorded Violator. He used to watch him play, without Alan knowing he was there. His passionate and forceful cadence pulling him in.

Now, Dave gets lost in his fervour, gripping Alan's shoulder blades to hold onto his last bit of sanity while Alan accompanies him through the ride. He can't help but be loud, to repeatedly curse under his breath, even in between kisses when Alan desperately tries to shut him up somehow, because it's just too much. He's surprised at how long Alan can go. Guy's got stamina. Dave must have carved grooves into Alan's back by now, as he's losing himself underneath his lover.

As Dave tries to stroke himself to completion, Alan swats his hand away and grabs both his wrists, firmly but carefully. Dave whines and squirms at the restriction and soon he's begging Alan for more. To give all he's got. And Alan does, his pace accelerating one last time, causing himself to groan loudly as well, as they both eagerly try to reach their peak.

They look into each other's eyes, both panting and groaning heavily before Dave gives in first, coming untouched, bending and arching upwards while throwing his head back into the sweat soaked pillow and yelling Alan's name, while he carries him through his high.

Alan's thrusts become erratic as he chases his own climax, and he bends down to kiss Dave's lips one last time before moaning against Dave's sweaty neck, catching his own release and spilling his load into Dave.

He has never seen Alan this vulnerable. Whining sensitively as he seeks Dave's proximity. Collapsing halfway on top of him and resting his head on Dave's chest as they both come down from their peak. After some time, when Alan pulls out, Dave starts running his hands through his mussed up hair, lightly caressing his facial features. The distinctive nose he loves so much, the sharp jawline, the swollen lips where small breaths escape rapidly. He wants this moment to last forever. No concerns, no responsibilities, just pure bliss.

As they lay there, spent and exhausted, Alan starts drifting away because of Dave's gentle caress, and Dave thinks. He thinks about what might be after they wake up again. He thinks about how much he loves Alan deep down, even though Alan might never feel the same way. He thinks about so many things, but all these things don't matter right now. The only thing that matters now, is that he is here, safe, warm, satisfied, and most importantly, with the person he loves most. That's the only thing he thinks about as he drifts off to a deep sleep as well. The first deep sleep in months.

_~ And when our worlds they fall apart, when the walls come tumbling in, though we may deserve it, it will be worth it. ~_

**Author's Note:**

> Endless thanks to my amazing friend Tanya for supporting this idea, giving helpful advice whenever I needed it, and helping me develop the plot. You're awesome and I hope you enjoyed this process as much as I did.


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